A super funny story from the Bloggess. I can totally relate to this one. Great idea for a tattoo also.
Someone find me a tattoo parlor
Every time I tell Victor to scratch the super-itchy part of my shoulder-blade that I can’t reach he never gets the right spot, and I get more and more frustrated and I scream “NOT THERE. SCRATCH WHERE IT FEELS LIKE SPIDER EGGS ARE HATCHING UNDER MY SKIN”, and then he yells “You’re not pointing at anything specific” and I explain that that’s because I can’t even reach that part of my back well enough to scratch it, much less point at it and then he inexplicably starts scratching the top of my arm for some reason and I’m like “REALLY? Why would you think I couldn’t reach my own arm?” and he huffs and walks away and I end up having to go outside to rub my itchy shoulder-blade on the brick siding and then Victor yells at me for being semi-topless outside and for looking like I’m “giving the house a lap dance”, and then I tell him that I’ve finally decided to get a tattoo that says “What are you doing? Here. SCRATCH IT RIGHT HERE” since apparently he doesn’t understand shoulder-blade directions, and then he pointed out that since I’m so bad at describing things that the tattoo artist would probably put the tattoo in the wrong place as well, but that’s not true at all because I would just tell him to put the tattoo where all the bloody scratch marks are from where I had to ask a brick-wall to give me a back-rub.
Thus ends the longest, most confusing run-on sentence in the world. I win the internet. And so do you if you actually followed it. Someone get us a small trophy and money for a tattoo.